Letter from Future

                                                              Dec22,2020

Universe

Space, Earth

Hello you, my future

Ummm wandering where to start. It's me, You're my past and I'm your future. Here I am, to let you know about how I'm feeling. I'm trying hard Not to fall down, not to give up on you and I know you're me but bit hard to accept you because of few things that has happened in your future. 

I'm losing myself, time and everything around me. I know you're excited about your future but it's cloudy here. Everything that had looks easy for you has become something unpredictable. I know that you have been looking for someone to share your feeling and everything. I know you have been though lots of emotional pain. I know that you have never learn to love yourself. Playing safe and taking life lightly was just a burden of suffering. You have been crying alone on your suffering. Nobody has been asking you how you doing? Even if there was, no one cares to understanding you. You think life is hard and I think life is you and you're letting yourself  to be more complicated than knowing your life as hard.  

A fault character you Have been playing right now is not going to help your future. Be yourself, be you, not to Chase after a little pleasure that's make you feel satisfied. The pleasure you have been feeling is not going to be your happiness. Distraction has already arrived in your past but I'm not going to let the distraction distract you again because  You're precious to me. The old me was too careless which is you right now and everything you do gonna matters to me, so here your future is awake in me and I know we can't meet each other but I hope my letter reached out to you. I know you'll be helpful to yourself one day and hope I'll be fine soon.

With faith in you

                                                               your future

                            

                                                                  TEN~KHA

An emotional fool

I was watching a movie and I was really enjoying it but suddenly I felt something wet and cold running down my cheek. The level of pain I was feeling at that moment was equivalent to how I feel when someone I know has died. Considering how sad I felt out of nowhere was unreasonable because I was breaking down in the middle of the movie.

That's when I start to question myself, is everything alright with me or just worse ? Am I drowning and getting stuck into the  black hold while I pretend everything is alright.

As I was crying my heartache, my breath was heavy and my eyes don't seems to stop crying. At that moment I was wishing someone was there with me to tell me that everything Will be alright but at that moment, there was no one to embrace me with their warm hug or comfort me with enduring advice.

I was alone with the sad piano music that was playing in the background making me realized how lonely I was in my own pain and sadness which is making me realize how everything that I'm carrying inside me is killing me slowly like a slow poison.

By then, all I wanted to do is sleep, my soul wandering in faraway land and hoping I would never wake up to being such an emotional fool.

                                                                  TEN~KHA

Am I poet ?

Should I say I'm a poet or should I say  I'm just a woman trying to expressed the things to be said or left unsaid with myself in this poetry. I don't know the importance of writing skills and it may sound funny to called myself as a poet but  still trying hard to put feelings in words on poetry.

  I think Most of them are boring and uninteresting to those readers because I'm writing these poetry to myself. I wish I could be a good poet to win readers heart but for now I'm trying to win my own heart which is somewhere other side of the world, somewhere behind my door, somewhere hiding inside myself.

Sometimes feelings are hard to express. And I don't know how should I explain to other about what I'm going through. Sometimes sharing feelings are not easy but I'm trying my best to let my feelings out. May my poetry help  those who are going through the same phase. I hope you can connect to my poetry.

Maybe I'm selfish for now, maybe I'm not trying to write on  your interest, maybe I'm not worth it for myself but I hope one day I will make sure to earn your heart.
I don't even know weather these poetry are reaching out to you or not but I hope you appreciate my every poetry when you read it.

                      Unlikely poet

                                                       TEN~KHA

Spread kindness

No, you don't need money, you don't have to pay for it and you don't have to buy it. You don't have to find it, you don't have to do anything which can cause you a lost. Just do one thing, open up your heart and do a little favor, spread kindness which is within you.

Smile at everyone you come across_ sometimes we don't realized the important of smiling. Smile is the only way to make any stranger closer to you and you may have no idea on what they could be in your life as friends, inspiration, mentor and more than this. And we don't realized how often we smile to our self and to other. Smile create chemical reaction which release happy hormone in our body.

Donate food, clothes and things_ you don't have to think rich or you don't have to be rich. Sometimes we have to act more on kindness. You may throw food,  you may garbage the clothes and things but what if you give them to someone out there on road hungry, cold and miserable. I think giving to eat and wear is better than money cause, You might doubt sometimes, what they may do with that money. When you see someone poor, offer them a cup of tea with some cakes, hope they won't remain hungry for little moment. Even you can feed animals who's poor and hungry.

Call your grandparents/parents_ we often don't call them, only when we have something to say on our needs. Grandchildren and grandparents bonding were so strong and beautiful before but nowadays we don't even have time to spend together. I hope you can call them twice a week and see what happens. Maybe you don't feel as much happy as they are but I can tell you they would feel so relief talking to you. Ask about their health, weather, people at there and ask for advice and I Know, you don't have to cause, they will for sure bless you and advice you.

Volunteer_ Grab the opportunity when you have it. Join volunteer to help human beings and other creatures. You won't feel lonely, you may meet lots of people who are waiting for your helping hand. Your volunteer may act as a kindness and kindness can bring you peace and happiness.

Give a secret gift to someone_ you don't have to buy something expensive. Sometimes people find happiness in small things and how they looked happy and appreciate you for that. Pass your old books to someone who is looking forward to buy it, Buy them a DVD of their favorite shows and surprise them with little things. You know that they would love it more than anything.

Talk to Animals_ you may think, is that even kindness. Yeah, why not ? As we're connected  with other creatures. You're able to connect with them and slowly you may understand and feel them. At least we care for them. Isn't that kindness?  Sometimes animals suffer more than human beings and most of us  Know nothing about it . I wish you to talk with animals like I do and its sounds crazy but I know one day you will understand when you do it.

Write letter to self_ Do we really know our self? We spent hours connecting with technology, objects around us and running behind something which we don't enjoy and happy about it. Talking to our self and writing to our self is important. Write about what you think of your self, how you feel when you're sad and happy. Write about your interest and things you love and hate doing. One day you'll learn to love your self and be kind to your self.

 May your kindness bring happiness in your and their life.

                                                       TEN~KHA

Simple you is Beautiful

We all know that we're into others beauty rather than our own. We collect the most highlight and effective products. Trying every worst and best, black complexion to Brown complexion, light foundation to white foundation so, that people won't judge you on your skin colour. Collecting American magazines seeking for the white skin colour. Forcing our face with unhealthy diets to be a little bright. Facing every morning with simple but a big pimple. Asking to our friends, Do I look okay, Do I look pretty or Do I looked like a person that I was wishing for ?

We expect too much  compliment for our beauty. We try so hard to impress and to express on how we looks. We think our face looks better with makeup, more than that on filter apps and some walk too far for surgery. We don't realized that we're not the same person in our photograph and those likes and comments on our pictures has no value but a desire of more expectations.

We should know that beauty is not what makes you beautiful because beauty doesn't mean pretty at all, beauty does not mean attractive and attraction and beauty does not count as likes and dislikes.

Come on our generation.

Why to waste our teenager and adulthood with the roles of beauty, fancy and unpleasantness. Why to stick with those products and covering our face with thick makeup. Don't misunderstood beauty. True beauty comes from inside. Being compassionate and having a good character are virtuous traits. We need to stop finding what makes you beautiful because simple you is always beautiful.

Self love and self care are important but don't misunderstood them. Know your skin types and care them. know that no one is born perfect, know that you're beautiful in the way you are , cause simple you is beautiful.

                                                       TEN~KHA

Believe in music

Music is  an Art of peace, happiness and company to emotions and feelings. Music is everywhere. It's in the Air, in the wind, in the ocean, in the light, in the rainfall and Any sounds can be a music, all we have to do is listen to it and feel it.

Music is not a language to be learn but a sound to be feel. Music can be a form of emotions and feelings which cannot be put in words. The combination of emotions and feelings spark with music which flows in the way it wants and no one can stop it, only we can do is listen to it and feel it.

Music can create a positive emotions. Music can create a memories of moments, not only that also music help to those who cannot open up their feelings to other, who cannot express their joys and sadness to other. The way music flow is like taking our inner self to the long journey where there is no ending. It's always beautiful to follow music and to feel it.

General definition of music include common element such as pitch, beat, tempo, rhythm, melody, harmony, texture, allocation voices, timbre, dynamics, expression, articulation, form and structure. There are many types of music such as blues, classical, country, electronic, Jazz, Latin, metal, pop, punk, reggae, R & B and rock music. We can touch the music by performing a instrumentals. A great musician may know the feeling of touch, playing it and singing along with holding expression.

We all have different taste in  music. some go crazy and like to feel every beat of music like rock, metal bands like AC/DC, Nirvana, guns N’roses, Beatles, metallic, system of down etc . Some people may like calm and soft music while other people like both. Some people like listening to songs in Different languages like I do for example English, Japanese, Chinese, Italian, Thailand, Indonesian, Korean, Indian, Nepali, telugu, Tibetan. Even if we don’t understand we can feel the rhythm, beats, melody and how it effects our mind and body.

Believe in music. Just for once trust me, just for once feel the music. It is such a beautiful place to put yourself  when you're not feeling okay, when you're searching for pleasant,  when you want to feel someone's present and when you want to disappear in the world of music where your feeling spark.

Music act like they know exactly what we're going through . Music has make a space in millions of people's lives and heart and that's why music is what I called peace of art

Every music  tells you a story.

                                                       TEN~KHA

TEA-SPIRATION

The only thing I'm not tired of making it as a habit and the only reason of mine calling it as a first love of my first sip. Beautiful relief, just mixing myself into a cup of tea and adding to a new flavors. Every sips that makes sound is the best way to enjoy a cup of tea.

Every morning welcome me with sunshine though the window and a first sip of tea which put smile on my face till my eyes get tiny. My mood connect to the flavors of tea with that mesmerizing fragrances.

Is it possible to connect our mood with a cup of tea, is it possible for any mood to feel better with the Perfect tea ? I say yes, it is possible cause I'm a tea lover and I can be your tea inspiration. I can connect to a warm tea, the flavors, the combination of sweet delightful fragrances that form a cup of tea which warm my soul.

Hear from tea lover and be your own first lover, TEAS !

# lavender _ can be helpful  to those who needs sleep and who can't sleep. I do have problem with my sleep but lavender tea is free to help me.

# Tart cherry _ can help to those who feel anxious about anything, might be helpful to let you feel okay.

# peppermint _ can help to those who feel uneasy. When I weep I get in a huge problem, guess what my nose get blocked and I know there is only one way to heal, a cup of peppermint tea.

# Black _ can be helpful to those who needs energy to start on something new like working on new project, to read something new and I prefer to have a cup of black tea before writing something interesting or while I'm reading.

# Indian masala Chai _ Have you ever heard of it ? it's very popular in India. It helps to think positive when you're in bad mood. Indian masala Chai might help you if you try it.

# Ginger _ can help to those who are uncomfortable and not feeling well. I love ginger tea because it helps me to sing better and I do believe that ginger tea can make you a better singer.

# lemon and orange _ can be helpful to those who are more likely to get angry on everything. Both lemon and orange sounds healthy, isn't it? Don't think, just try.

# chamomile _ can be helpful to those who are stressed. It tastes unusual every time when I drink but I feel better and calm when I'm having a couple of chamomile tea.

# Green _ can be helpful in many ways. Do you think green tea can help when feeling tired? I like drinking green tea when I'm feeling tired and it does work on me.

# coffee _ can help not to fall asleep while you're working late night. I love staying awake at night and coffee tea is the reason that I can actually stay awake whole night.

# peach _ peach tea is one of my favorite. Before even trying a first sip I was amazed by the smell of it. The smell of peach tea is like a real smell of peach and it has a very strong smell. And also peach ice tea is amazing. Whenever me and my friend go cafe we also Oder same peach tea and start a long conversation. It makes us feel energetic. 

                          Are you a tea lover ?

                                                              TEN~KHA

When I was not ME

  

What in the world am I , who knows me better ? 

The one with whom do I spent my class Time, The one with whom do I spent my free time or The one with whom do I share my secrets.

Class describe me as a failure, free time describe me as a fool and secrets describe me as a weak. They know the word failure and describe themselves as a fortune teller, They know the word fool and describe themselves as a cool, They know the word weak and describe themselves as a wise.

They act like they know me better than I do. They pretend to be like my ego, anger and emotions. They judge me more than they need to be. My skin color matter to them. They got problems in the way i dressed up. Trying to be my self is what they don't want. My silence of patience was granted for them. They don't know the way i cry beyond my smile. They pulled me down when they found me doing something better than them.

I felt , Facing myself is like making my own shame. So, I told my self Hold on , Forget about whatever is happening around you. Let the tears frozen , let the mouth be taped and let the voice die inside because I was trying hard to act the way they want me to. I was holding every single burden that they were throwing. I felt like I was trapped in the world called torture.

Every single day when I looked in the mirror and trying to see my self but instead i could see thousands of people describing me and blaming me for what I have Done. I hate myself more than the people who were putting so much effort on me to act like a  heartless death body. I came to realized why I'm the only living death body with heartless  and the reason why I couldn't see myself and describe myself is because I was never ME

                                                       TEN~KHA

Trying to be alright with beautiful lies

I have been lying since when I don't recognized myself. Always been smiling when I mean to cry in pain. Hardly facing everything when I'm already loosing. I have been helping other when I was hoping them to help me. Subconsciously shaking my body when I'm emotionally weak inside. I have been saying okay when I was supposed to say I'm not . I was immature when it was time for me to be mature.

Yeah ! I have been threw these all but still I'm in pain because I often smile and cry deeply at night. I'm quite outside but trying hard to loud the voice inside me. I have constantly act normally strong but inside I'm actually confused and nervous. I take it easy In every situations but still fear of scare makes me feel like dying to have a drops of water. I wanted to make things perfect but nothing remains the same. I thought that it was a beautiful turning point but I found my self in horrible path. 

Trying to avoid fears of illusions and knowing that it's Not true, makes me feel like it's going to happen. I want to be free from those beautiful lies but there is no option left to be truth about myself. Praying to Lord by  wishing for the last hope Trying to be alright with  beautiful lies.

                                                       TEN~KHA    

My Way

  

I don't know where my life is taking me to? Somewhere unknown places that I have never been through. I'm confused all the way long. The front step that I'm taking seems to look beautiful but when I turn around I feel like it's getting mess. I'm  standing in a middle of the way where there are different opportunities that I could see but I'm not sure which road I'm going to choose. My one step create thousands confusion whether I'm going on wrong or right way. I'm scared to step on beautiful way because I thought that it could be beautiful only in my eyes.

                                                                  TEN~KHA

Let go of Everything

    

Let go of Everything,

Every mistake you have done it in past.  Forgive your self and step forward with faith in an opportunities. You ought to be craving for your own life. When you stop it doesn't mean that time would wait for you to realise the following day.

Let go of Everything,

The burden you have been holding and shaming all the time. Let not be the one who is faking around the world. Maybe hard time brings you sweat and tears but never thought of giving up.

Let go of Everything,

The fear of losing those precious time that you had on. Lets walk with sun and not with the shadow which brings darkness of your past. Mind will make  you hard to take decision but  your heart can lead you to the path of possibilities and hope.

                                                       TEN~KHA

I'm an Otaku

   

I feel alive when I'm watching anime. It's like diving into ocean where my eyes hold a vision of anime world. Anime makes me laugh hard, cry, break down and to fall in love with their characters. Life without anime is like picture without colors. Whenever I turn it off, it's like someone has just wrote down my name in Death note.

                                                       TEN~KHA

   

Dear Self

  

It's okay to break down and to fall down. It's okay to put down your smile and to weep out. Take your time because your time belongs to you and it is not going to run. Accept what you have done because only you know the reasons behind your actions.

Hold on, make a space around you and your self. Yeah, you and your self. You are letting others to  decide who you are and forget to introduce yourself.

Maybe the time has arrived for you to open up yourself to this beautiful world. Before you were tapped like a bird in a cage, not because of anyone but because of yourself, now its time for you to fly.

Your thoughts and feelings were only around your fears, mistakes and self doubt but now, its time for you to show, who you are ? 

                                                       TEN~KHA 

Cinderella inside you

   

 Don't search your beauty inside other, just know yourself as Cinderella of your life and search your beauty inside you. You are beautiful in the way you are , just wait for the right moment to arrive your prince charming. 

                                                       TEN~KHA

Dear Note

I choose you because I'm sad. I was wandering where to flow my emotions and I found you in my blank pages, you told me to shed my tears with words over you. I did, I felt like I'm better now. Its all because of you. Thank you

                          

                                                       TEN~KHA

       

Dear shower

          

You are rainfall in my crying mood and company in my sad moments. You let go of my negative thoughts and let me feel fresh like a complete new person. You make me relief with that cold touch on my body which heel my mind 

                                                     TEN~KHA

Dear Life

 

You seems to be bore with me. I know i messed up with you but i am not doing it because I want to, it just happen without realizing the value of you. Pardon me, just give me one more chance and i will spark you with faith.

                                                      TEN~KHA

Dear Destination

 

I take every single  steps to reach you but now, I don't think It is necessary for me to meet you Because I found every piece of you On my beautiful mess journey.

                                                  TEN~KHA

Dear Death

 

• 

 When are you going to take me 

 along with you? I think you are more of  reality than fake world , that's why I'm ready to be yours. I want to explore  what exists beyond death and the flesh that you had taken from life. I was born to be your so, just take me without mercy

Take me

                                                      TEN~kHA